So, the other day I commented on a post written by a young, brand-new homeschool mom. I was over-the-moon about her post — it was great. I absolutely loved what she was sharing with her audience. I love to see women supporting women, encouraging each other, empowering themselves.
I wanted to say thanks. And let her know I stopped by. I left what I felt to be a thoughtful, encouraging comment. You would have done the same thing, right?
I was hit with a comment assault.
Using the word “cute” in a sentence.
Not to describe her. Not even something she said exactly. But it was there. Yes, indeed, I said it.
Some said it was trite. Some wrote it was condescending. Some called me a know-it-all. A whole bunch of people did the head nod. And, of course, others chimed in just for the heck of it.
The claim? I don’t really know. I think I said too much. Or maybe, I should not have commented at all?
What had I said? I was trying to be helpful. I was really, really polite. I followed all the rules of grammar. I was nice. Heck, I even included my trademark smiley — you know the one I use?
Oh my. The smiley should have been my first clue. (Thank goodness I didn’t try to use a hashtag again.)
It wasn’t until the next day that I figured it out. I realized I did that ” old mom” thing again. I had forgotten about it.
I’m too old to comment on young mom blogs. It’s not that I’m really, really old. But, compared to young mom, I am.
I have been homeschooling a long time.
I have been around the homeschool block a few times.
And, I guess, sometimes, just sometimes, young moms don’t want to hear from us…ahem, seasoned veterans. Us “older moms”.
I understand. I get it.
But sometimes, I forget.
I remember when I first started. I needed advice but only wanted it a little bit at a time. In small doses. In ways I could relate to.
For goodness sakes, if a mom like me had dumped a, “When I first started…” or “When my kids were little” type lecture on me — some days – I might not have liked it, either. I would have shut down. It may have been too much.
I got to thinking about this. It’s like giving baby advice when you haven’t had a newborn in 20 years. Because, “When my kids were babies, the doctors told us to sleep them on their stomachs” is exactly what today’s moms want to hear. So is, “When my kids were born, we let them hang out the car window without wearing seat belts. People used to smoke in the car with all the windows closed. We even let ’em ride in the back of the station wagon.” not especially welcome, either.
It’s like Friend-ing a teen on Facebook. It’s like not knowing the words to a popular song — or worse, knowing the words and singing it. Shopping in the Junior’s Department. Not getting the latest joke. Not knowing what’s on TV. Not having a smart phone. Wearing practical shoes. Not watching Saturday Night Live. Not cool.
Yep, totally me.
My best guess is I was trying to fit in where I wasn’t really welcome — any more. Maybe welcome isn’t exactly the word. But aftwards, I felt like I had been uninvited from a private club. You know the kind. You’re invited, but people hope you never really show up. Wrist slapped. Set straight. Last one picked on the team.
I’ll do better next time.
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