Remember the last time you witnessed a sweet act or overheard kind words spoken among family members, lovers, or old friends? I immediately feel my vibration rise when I see acts of kindness or witness words of compassion like that. Do you?
Turns out, in addition to witnessing others, we are deeply impacted by the words we tell ourselves. While self-love might include smaller acts (like doing something special for ourselves, for instance), the big gain really comes from speaking love and compassion into our own being.
Too often, we tend to criticize ourselves for being too much of this and too little of that. Too fat. Too loud. Too lazy. Too clutzy. Too short. Not smart enough. Not mathematical enough. Not sexy enough. Not brave enough. Like bad habits, these words spill out of us without even thinking. What’s important about them, is that the subconscious mind hears us saying things like, “I’m such an idiot”, to ourselves. It doesn’t just hear the toxic way we talk to ourselves, either. The mind stores it and remembers all of it for us, too.
Perhaps you’ve witnessed women saying things to themselves things they would never say to a young child or a good friend. It may have even hurt you to witness someone speaking so harshly to themselves. I’ll never forget overhearing a woman describe her body as “disgusting” as she stood in front of the mirror in a dressing room one day. The way she treated herself actually changed the way I spoke to myself from that day on.
A good measuring stick, the one I actually use for myself, is to speak to myself as though I were speaking love into my own child. Another idea is to imagine yourself talking to a very good friend. Listen. Be gentle, understanding, reassuring, encouraging, and patient. Above all, always be loving. Your health and happiness depends on it.
Imagine a situation in which you might feel uncomfortable, frightened, or self-conscious. It could be wearing a swim suit in public or some item of clothing you’re not sure is the right fit or style. It might be speaking on a stage or at a meeting about a topic you know very little about. It could be engaging in an activity you haven’t done for a while (dating, ice skating, or singing). Make it something that could be difficult for you to do.
Now, imagine how you might feel if the activity went terribly wrong. Think anywhere from slightly embarrassing to the worst possible scenario you can imagine.
Next, think what you might say to yourself after the activity. What words would you use? What accusations might you make? How would you make yourself feel?
Finally, imagine it were your child or best friend experiencing the activity instead, and what words you might use to console or encourage them.
Spend a moment contemplating the difference.
I’ve created a poster as a reminder of the importance of treating yourself as you would a good friend. I would love for you to have a copy, as a reminder to practice positive self-talk.
PRINT your poster by clicking below:
and let me know in a COMMENT how you plan to use it.
Standing with you as you practice self love,
As a coach, writer, recovered over-doer and busyness addict, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle while the mind tries to sabotage your success. In my journey to vibrant health, I created a personalized health system of nutrition and supplementation, lifestyle changes, and I retrained my mind and the energy of my body. I view my success as the formula to my happy, healthy life. I now empower other women to create their own personalized formulas, including the tools and strategies just right for them! Amazing life shifts come from our relationships. I look forward to helping you, too!