working moms Archives - Marie-Claire Moreau

Jun 09 2016

Why I wasted a good education and a great career to homeschool my kids

You’ve probably heard women defending their choices to stay home and have kids. Or leave good jobs to come home to kids. Or the bazillion other things women allegedly give up. Because kids. There’s been talk in the homeschooling community about it, too. Apparently, homeschool moms are frequently being asked why they waste their college educations or give up a good job to stay home. I am one homeschool mom who gets those questions, too.

Because I’m completely over feeling the need to explain myself, what I would normally say in a situation like this is: a) it’s nobody’s business what we do, b) parenting is hard enough without other people trying to make it harder, and c) everybody needs to start minding their p’s and q’s. But, because I love you and want to help you overcome the feelings that can come from hearing that kind of stuff, I decided to tackle this notion that educated slash career women are making a huge mistake.

If this has been bothering you at all, I hope to make you feel better soon. Ideally, by the end of this blog, you’ll never feel the need to defend yourself again, either.

Some History

Let me begin by saying, this isn’t anything new. I’ve been hearing comments like these for years:

Guy walks into a bar and says, “What’s a college-educated girl like you doing home babysitting a bunch of kids like them?”

which actually happened once, by the way, in a buffet line.

I get this one all the time:

“What did you do before you had kids?

usually coupled with:

How soon are you going back?”

Thanks for asking.

I admit, I especially appreciate when people are subtle:

“It must be sooooo hard being home all day.”

because it makes it sooooo much easier for me not to feel bad while they’re calling me an idiot for taking care of my kids instead of working a real job.

Honestly, for the first couple of years, those kinds of comments did bother me. Not very much, but just enough to make me question my choices and our lifestyle. It hurt most coming from family and friends, but really anyone could’ve put a dent in my confidence while I was still feeling my awkward way around being a mom and teaching my kids at home. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before I grew even stronger in my resolution and my ability to ignore busy bodies. Which is why now, I am able to deflect obnoxious comments like some kind of female super hero.

My View on Winning

To explain my views on the situation, I’ve created a simple graph:

Understand I’ve been doing the “home” thing a long time, thus my graph represents me looking back after 20+ years of being a homeschool mom versus all the other options. The fact that my kids turned out awesome and ended up saving us hundreds of thousands of dollars in college tuition doesn’t hurt either. Your graph might look a little different, but I’m guessing it’s similar if you’ve made a similar choice.

Please understand, though my graph may look silly, I don’t take this lightly. People don’t call me Dr. Moreau for fun. I really earned all my fancy degrees from a tippy top school, was esteemed by my colleagues, loved by my students, and was earning a lot of money to boot. I had absolute job security plus incredible benefits prior to becoming a mom. None of this is imaginary to me — I know what I gave up by coming home to my kids.

I just really believe that when women choose home (and, better yet, homeschool) over a career, they win. It’s as simple as that. Actually, in my opinion, everybody wins.

I just really believe that when women choose home over a career, they win.

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We moms win because we get to spend time with our precious kiddos, get to custom design our lives, and get to totally impact them like nobody’s business. Our kids win by having full-time supporters and cheerleaders and by turning into these amazing people with so many more chances at living an amazing life than if we hadn’t stayed home. It’s true, check the research. And our partners, if we have them, win too. Because, barring anything weird or unusual, they’re probably glad to have a happy, intact family with incredible kids, too. Score, score, score.

So, what I’m telling you, and why I have never had a single regret, is that those of us staying home get the last laugh. For all the claims that we’re wasting our expensive degrees, losing money or our “only” chance at building a career, we’re seriously getting the better end of the deal.

Those of us staying home get the last laugh…we’re getting the better end of the deal.

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Need more convincing? I’ve got some.

Look at the incredible benefits that might come out of you making that choice, and you being home:

You might get good kids. I mean really, really good kids. The kind who stick around and continue doing life with you and with each other even after they’re grown. The kind of kids who turn into good adults who contribute within their communities, our society and the planet.
You might produce kids with bright futures. Either in college or in careers or both. You might get kids who create things, start businesses, go to college, get good jobs, and earn good salaries. Because they’re good at what they do, because they care, because they’ve got great work ethics, because they know how to work alone, and because people like working with them.
You might get kids who don’t necessarily cost you a lot over the years. Because you either don’t have a lot so they learn to be frugal or creative or resourceful, or because they don’t want/need the same stuff as all the other kids.
You might end up with kids who save you tons of money when they’re teens. Because they build, barter or buy their own stuff, or they earn it themselves. Does free college ring a bell? ‘Cause your kids might get that, too.
You could get kids who are quite healthy. Because, when raised at home, there are plenty of opportunities for clean eating, time and space for movement and activities, and less exposure to every virus and bacteria that can make other people sick. And probably because they’ve been involved in sourcing foods, meal prep and all that goes into feeding themselves and a family. Maybe they know how to grow foods, too.
You yourself can have a life. If it’s a working life you want, you can squeeze that in somewhere. And you can literally have a personal life, an emotional life, a social life, a spiritual life, and physically active life, one without the restrictions imposed by only being home a couple of hours a day, if you want one.
You get a life you design for yourself. Whether in one place, or in many places. Whether quiet or extremely busy. Talk about options! How many people can say that?

The Trade-Off

I could draft a list a mile long of all the benefits of being home. Yet, I can think of only 2 advantages to working outside the home: 1) doing something you love and 2) earning money. And I think we can all agree that most people never get the opportunity to do something they love, so that pretty much only leaves money. Which is no small thing, but only amounts to whatever you might have netted over a period of 15-20 years instead of homeschooling and raising kids.

So, there it is. I’ve given you the trade-off.

Imagine a balance scale if you will. On one side, sits the pile of money you would have earned in 20 years. On the other side, sits a framed photo of your family. Which side is heavier? You decide. The choice can only be made using your own personal list of reasons versus some dollar amount on the opposite side of that scale.

For me, the choice was clear and easy. But, which will you choose? If you’re still here, you’re probably thinking a lot about that family photo.

Perhaps you’re thinking I forgot to mention all the side-effects that come from staying home — the things you’ll lose by interrupting your life temporarily and trying to recreate it later on. That’s where all those oh-so-helpful comments from strangers and family come in. Because they’re implying you could lose your identity, waste a perfectly good education, not get the chance to use all that training, not get to share your gifts with the world, or all of the above. Some might even tell you you’re setting a bad example for your kids (!!) by not going out there and taking the world by storm. Nobody likes a freeloader, and this isn’t the 50’s after all. How dare you not show your kids what it’s like to go out and earn a living?

Well, I’m not here to tell you how to think. But I completely disagree with that logic, because I think it’s easily possible and highly probable than any one of us can jump back into that life any time. Maybe not the exact same life, but a similar life. Or, better yet, some new life we’ve designed for ourselves once our children are grown. A life with a new skill set, new levels of training, and a mature sense of what we really want out of life anyway. I don’t think a brief stint being a mom (and it is brief, when you think about it) signals the end. I don’t for a minute believe that having kids is enough to squash a dream if there’s a dream still there waiting. And as for your kids? After watching you homeschool for 20 years, there’s no way they’re gonna think you’re lazy. No stinking way.

That’s why staying home is the better option. That’s why you’re not making a mistake by choosing the family photo. And that’s why I’m still laughing.

Are you?

Related Articles

Is homeschooling cheaper than government schools?

How do families afford homeschooling?

Working parents homeschool, too!
Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau is a college professor who traded in her tenure to become a homeschool mom 20+ years ago. A homeschooling pioneer and the founder of many groups and organizations, she works to advance home education, and is an outspoken supporter of education reform coast to coast. Her book, Suddenly Homeschooling: A Quick Start Guide to Legally Homeschool in Two Weeks, is industry-acclaimed as it illustrates how homeschooling can rescue children and families from the public school system, and how anyone can begin homeschooling within a limited time-frame, with no teaching background whatsoever. A liaison for regional school-to-home organizations, a homeschool leader, and a women’s life coach, Marie-Claire mentors in a variety of areas that impact health, education and lifestyle. A conference speaker, she has appeared at FPEA, H.E.R.I., Home Education Council of America, The Luminous Mind, Vintage Homeschool Moms, iHomeschool Network, and many other events. Her articles have appeared in and on Holistic Parenting, CONNECT, Homefires, Homemaking Cottage, Kiwi, Circle of Moms, and hundreds of sites and blogs nationwide. Marie-Claire can be reached at contactmarieclaire@gmail.com.

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Feb 05 2016

Saying YES to rest and play (and a challenge!)

If you’re like many women, you cram more than your share of projects and deadlines into every day. With a to-do list a mile long, you move through life focusing on completion, meeting (often ridiculously high) standards, covering all the bases, making sure you never neglect anyone or anything along the way.

You’re focused, hard-working, and forever the person in charge. You have to be, right? There’s a lot to do in your world — things that aren’t going to get done by themselves. That’s why you’ve programmed yourself to step up to the plate. Every time. It’s how you operate, and you’ve been at it for a really long time.

I was that woman once. A list-maker, an achiever, and a chronic over-doer, I was forever the volunteer and the person in charge. My pattern of over-achievement and accomplishment validated my thoughts, my abilities and my goals for myself. On the surface, it felt really good. Others noticed, too. In fact, it was that early programming that helped me achieve much of my early success (read my story to hear how achievement patterns can play a part in early success).

Your focus on production and over-achievement serves you, too. Whether consciously or subconsciously, you’re deriving benefits from your actions and behaviors on some level, too. You see, every pattern you exhibit in life either fulfills a need or validates a belief about yourself. If that weren’t true, you wouldn’t be doing any of it.

Whether consciously or subconsciously, you derive benefits from your actions and behaviors, too.

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The Problem With Doing Too Much

But, there’s a problem with all that. Because, no matter how strangely satisfying certain behaviors can be, over time, those same behaviors can become destructive, too. Chronic over-doing and continual busy-ness are perfect examples of behaviors that serve a purpose now, but have a negative impact later. It doesn’t seem fair, to be honest. Because patterns like that are always useful…that is, until they blind-side us years later, and the damage is already done.

I meet women every day who suffer from doing too much.

Do you know someone like that?

Is it you?

Some women know they’re too busy, and admit their suffering out loud. But, even if they don’t admit it, it’s easy to tell when women are doing too much, because the suffering shows up in their bodies, their voices, or in other areas of their lives.

With me, my early programming ended up affecting my health later on — in a really big way. My eternal busy-ness and focus on completion ended in a musculoskeletal problem and tremendous physical pain. But, chronic over-achievers suffer in lots of other areas, too. Effects show up in finances, emotions, personal and work relationships, and many other areas of the body, and of life. Most of us have met women suffering the effects of doing too much. I meet women like these in my my practice every week.

A Simple Solution

Thankfully, the solution is really, really simple. The answer is down time — however you define that for yourself. I’m talking about doing things that bring pleasure, fun, relaxation or plain old joy. Basically anything besides what you normally do, think about, schedule on a calendar or fret over throughout the day.

Regular time off isn’t a luxury. It’s necessary for a healthy, stress-free life.

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Regular time off (“down time”) isn’t a luxury. It’s actually necessary for a healthy, stress-free life. Riding a bike, listening to birds, reading a book, spending time with a pet, coloring, star gazing, enjoying a night out — these are all ways to prevent illness and injury later in life. They’re crucial to maintaining quality of life. As long as the activity brings pleasure or rest, it’s good. Do it! You need it. Not just once in a while. But, often.

If you were to ask me 10 or 20 years ago when was the last time I just sat around doing nothing, I’d have laughed out loud. You see, I couldn’t recall a time in the last 24 hours (or the last week, or the last month) where I allowed myself time to just sit and be. I remember rolling my eyes when a doctor once asked if I’d ever had time to sit under a tree and read a book. I remember my arrogance after another doctor implied I needed more time to myself. You see, I never used to allow myself the indulgence of time off, for it would destroy my personal production schedule for the day. I laughed at the absurdity of those thoughts, thinking, “Didn’t they realize I had a lot to do?”

I was so wrong.

Looking back at the wisdom of people who counseled, “Go for a walk, watch TV, or take a nap”, I realize I had a lot to learn back then about true success and happiness. I think back to my dear mother’s favorite saying (“Take time out!”) and how my stubbornness didn’t allow me to see past the flurry of activity and endless stream of things on my schedule. If I’d just allowed myself regular time off, there is no doubt in my mind I wouldn’t have developed my illness, nor all the painful symptoms that plagued me for many years.

Say YES to rest and play

Fast forward many years, much research and many experiences and I recognize the tremendous value of down time. Though constant production had its place when I was younger, it also stole parts of my life away. Armed with this information, now I am called to counsel women, spreading this important message. I explain the need for rest and play, the value of self-care, and how omitting this crucial part of life can damage emotions, physical health, relationships and more.

Sometimes, I’m met with resistance. “How can I take time off when I have got so much to do?”, clients will ask. I’m familiar with these excuses, since I used them all myself! Nevertheless, we work to prioritize their lives, eliminate distractions and time-sucking activities, rework their schedules, and find the time they need for the rest or play they so deserve.

The 7-Day Challenge

I haven’t convinced you yet? Again, I understand. But, let me ask you this: Would you be willing to try to rest or play for a week? Just a little? Just for a week?

I’m challenging you to take back your life. I’m challenging you to take a little time for yourself — each day, for a mere 7 days. Because, after a week, I think you’ll begin to understand what I’ve been talking about. After a week, I think you’ll see that a little down time is well worth the investment in your future.

Leave a COMMENT and let me know if you’ll accept this challenge. You can also let my readers know how you’re planning to work some time off into your busy day. If you need help, post that, too! I’d love to be able to help you find the time off you need for a healthy life!

Don’t forget to come back and POST YOUR RESULTS, either — we can all cheer together!

Much love,

As a coach, writer, recovered over-doer and busyness addict, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle while the mind tries to sabotage your success. In my journey to vibrant health, I created a personalized health system of nutrition and supplementation, lifestyle changes, and I retrained my mind and the energy of my body. I view my success as the formula to my happy, healthy life. I now empower other women to create their own personalized formulas, including the tools and strategies just right for them! Amazing life shifts come from our relationships. I look forward to helping you, too!.

Jun 27 2014

A letter to new homeschool moms

Dear Mamma,

Welcome to homeschooling!

I know you just got here, but I wanted to make sure somebody stood up and waved, welcomed you aboard and said, “I’m glad you’re here!”

You are just getting started, and maybe you have questions. You’re excited. Probably a little nervous. Maybe worried, too.

You want your kids to do well. You want them to be normal. You wonder if you’ll measure up as a teacher, too.

I remember those feelings. Everyone has them. I’m just glad we are having the chance to meet, so I can tell you how normal you are.

When I first started, one of the first things I remember is the other moms. I called around, asked questions, and one day showed up in the park where they were meeting. I met moms who were very in control and moms that were very relaxed. I met moms that were planning every single hour of every day, and moms who seemed to take every day at a time, never quite knowing what they and their children would be doing next.

Though I didn’t see any moms exactly like me, those meetings put me at ease, and I knew I would eventually find a place either among them, or some similar group nearby.

I hope you’ve met moms like these, too. If not, I hope you find some soon.

When I first started, I remember hearing so many different things — all at once. Terms I had never even heard of. Products I had no idea where to find. Names of books, courses, and other people. I tried to soak it up (taking notes, cause that’s my style) and research them all. I knew I could do it, but it was a lot to take in all at once.

Has that happened to you? If it hasn’t, get ready…it might.

How are things going?

Are you handling it all okay?

Are you firm in your decision to homeschool, or still thinking?

Have you begun the research and the reading, or are you still looking for information to help get started?

We have never met, and maybe never will. But I feel as if I know you, because you’re a lot like I was.

I feel like I know you, because you are me so many years ago.

I feel like I know you, because I have met hundreds (thousands?) of moms just like you over the last 20+ years.

We haven’t met, and maybe never will. But I feel as if I know you, because you are a lot like other moms I have met before.

In the world of homeschooling (or really, in the world of parenting) we’re all so different, yet still so very much alike. We love our kids and want to do the best we can. We’re busy in the present while worrying about the future. We’re handling details of today and planning for tomorrow. Somehow, we do it. It’s noble work, but not easy. Not by a long-shot.

So, welcome! I’m glad you’re here.

It may take time, but you’ll do fine. I know, because I did. You will, too.

But, if you need me, I’m here. I can work with you to select courses, choose products, plan schedules, find resources and meet other people. Let me know how I can help. (Click here to get help.)

Happy homeschooling!

You might also like:

TEN REASONS homeschool your child

Are homeschool moms lonely?

Handling first day jitters

Are you good enough?

Giving up too soon

The importance of having a local contact

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Mar 06 2012

Block scheduling

How many times have you wished there were more hours in the day? More time for homeschooling? More time to spend with individual children? More time for household projects? Time for fitness and exercise? Time to work on hobbies? More time with your spouse?

With block scheduling, you can actually get your wish!

Okay, the schedules don’t actually make the day any longer. But, using them really does make it seem like they do!

Busy parents have long known the benefits of the block schedule. These may seem intimidating at first, but once established, they literally run themselves.

Do schedules work all the time? Of course not. But for seasons of life when schedules make sense, block schedules set the gold standard for getting stuff done!

In a nutshell, here’s how block scheduling works:

First, you imagine the perfect day, and identify what every member of the family should be doing at every point throughout the day.
Then, you figure out the number of hours in the day that are available in for scheduling (from rising until bedtime).
Next, you choose the length of time for every “block” (15-60 minute blocks are common)
Finally, you draw up a chart, so that every family knows where he or she needs to be, when, throughout the day.

Sound daunting? Actually, it isn’t.

If you start out small, and schedule the first few hours of every day, you’ll have a great beginning. Once you get the hang of things, you can expand your schedule even more. Or not. It’s up to you.

Look at this portion of a block schedule for a mom and 2 children:

	Sarah	James	Mom
8:00-9:00	Breakfast, reading	Breakfast, reading	Chores, get math ready
9:00-10:00	Spanish	Math with mom	Math with James
10:00-11:00	Math with mom	History	Math with Sara
11:00-12:00	Science with James	Science with Sarah	Chores, Calls, Emails
12:00-1:00	Lunch and rest	Lunch and rest	Lunch and cleanup
1:00-2:00	History with mom	Outside time, hobbies	History with Sarah
2:00-3:00	Outside time, hobbies	English	Gardening or sewing
3:00-4:00	English	Music practice	English with Sarah
4:00-5:00	Chore time	Chore time	Laundry, dinner prep

Imagine now this schedule organized into 30 minute blocks instead of 60 minutes. Then, imagine the schedule starts at 7:00 a.m. and runs all the way until bedtime. Finally, imagine adding more kids and blocks to the schedule, until everything is accounted for!

Turns out, block scheduling is one of my most requested talks. That’s because they really, really work!

Think block schedules are too restrictive? I have found a way to make them work for everyone. Even you!

Ask me how.

Are you using block scheduling already? SHARE your results! (Linky is now closed.)

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From rigid to relaxed

Among new homeschool parents, there is often a tendency to want to do everything “right”. Fearing the consequences (i.e., ruining the children), moms and dads may spend many hours on book selection, lesson planning, record-keeping, grading papers, plus any number of other activities needed to homeschool “right”.

The newness of the situation can cause worry and stress. They wonder if things will all turn out alright.

Talk to parents who have been homeschooling for a while, however, and you’ll hear a different kind of story. That’s because, while experienced families do the same things that new families do, they worry less than when they first started.

More years of experience earns parents a greater sense of confidence. And that confidence translates into a lot less worry and stress than they initially felt at first.

Take a look at these comparisons. See the difference a few years of homeschooling can make?

New homeschoolers may worry that…

…we didn’t finish everything we planned today.

…we may have forgotten something important.

…lessons could “bomb” or experiments might fail.

…a bad day of school means we are bad homeschoolers.

…our homeschool isn’t perfect.

But experienced homeschoolers know that…

…anything not completed today will get finished tomorrow.

…our kids will probably learn that on their own anyhow.

…even though one doesn’t work, the others will probably work fine.

…one bad day doesn’t matter, when other days are all pretty good.

…our homeschool is good enough for us.

So, the next time you’re worried about homeschooling, take heart in knowing that one day you’ll be more confident, too. It doesn’t take long for new homeschoolers to move from rigid to relaxed.

I promise — it will happen to you, too!

Do you know someone in need of this encouragement today?

SHARE it with them:

Jan 10 2012

Working parents homeschool, too!

Though it might seem like an impossible feat, working parents can homeschool, too. In families where both parents work, and even in single parent households, homeschooling is occurring all across the nation. But not everyone can do it, and still do it well. Taking lessons from the most successful working-while-homeschooling parents can help families decide if this option is really right for them.

Check these tips for ways to improve your chances at successfully homeschooling while working, too:

First and foremost, assess your ability to be flexible. From the curriculum you use (or not) to the hours you teach and your children learn, get used to the idea that unexpected things happen (and usually do). Trying to stick to a rigid schedule and complete lessons exactly as planned only leads to disappointment when work duties come to call. Learning to roll with whatever happens each and every day is an absolute prerequisite to making it work.

Next, round up all of the helpful resources you can (and always keep your eyes open for more). Working parents can’t always do everything themselves, so it’s important that you know where to find the people, the places and the events that can fill in the gaps for your children when you can’t do those things yourself. From having a list of reliable baby-sitters to knowing when the next homeschool coop class is meeting, having information and resources at your fingertips keeps the learning going for your students regardless of what may be going on in your working life.

Finally, make time for family fun. No matter how busy you become, time together should not always be about finishing math pages and reviewing spelling words. Though busy families have to make every moment count, it’s also important to remember that your children miss you while you’re away. All work with no play may strain relationships and weaken the bonds that are continually being stretched in every direction. Down-time for the entire family, including one-on-one time with individual children if possible, must be prioritized for a family and homeschool to survive under such pressure.

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Have any great tips for working parents? Share them in the COMMENT area, below!

[Photo: Free Digital]

Jul 23 2011

Is after-schooling okay?

Every once in a while, you’ll meet a family that refers to themselves as “After-schoolers”. After-schoolers are folks with children enrolled in schools but who reinforce and/or supplement learning at home, after school hours, in a homeschool-like fashion. It’s a great term, really, as it means exactly what it is — schooling after school.

Whatever your feelings on why this may be necessary, how people manage to squeeze it in, or why people would choose to do this at all — the question is, Is after-schooling okay? The answer is, yes it is. And though there is no research, it appears to be growing [slightly] in popularity, too.

Much like many parents oversee and supervise the completion of homework after school, – parents conduct homeschool after school. And like many parents help with homework that is assigned every day, after-schooling parents help with material at home, too.

What takes place during after-schooling is up to each individual family. Some families like to study new things after school, like foreign languages, hobbies such as ham radio or model trains, or hands-on activities like building furniture or organic gardening. Other families prefer to stick to the basics already being introduced in school, like language arts, mathematics or history — either doing more of what is being taught in school, or adding on to what teachers don’t have time to teach in the regular classroom. Some even enroll children in outside classes, tutoring centers and other academic activities during summers and weekends, either to catch kids up on skills or advance them beyond what they have been able to accomplish in school.

So, to answer to the question, after-schooling is certainly okay. Parents are well within their rights to teach children at home (after all, they’ve been teaching the kids things all along anyway), whether before school, after school or on the weekends. The practicality of after-schooling is another matter altogether, but as long as everyone has the desire and the time, there is nothing wrong with it.

Though some would argue that school children are busy enough and that parents need to protect their child’s down-time, family life and social life, the decision really lies with the parent. After-schooling may work in some situations but not in others. But there is nothing wrong, and certainly nothing illegal, about doing so.

Jun 20 2011

Golden Rules for working from home

Few things come together as nicely as homeschooling and working from home. For parents who must work, there is nothing better than doing it from home and still having the joy and satisfaction of homeschooling the children, too. Though it may not be easy, it’s not only possible — it happens all the time.

But what does it take to homeschool with a work-at-home job?

Obviously, every situation is a little different. But, following this list of Golden Rules can definately help.

Golden Rules of Homeschooling & Working from Home

1. Scheduling

The biggest key to working successfully from home and homeschooling at the same time is scheduling. And unfortunately, if you aren’t a scheduler, it’s time to get over it. The only way that proper homeschooling can occur is if all parties agree to set aside the adequate amount of time needed to do what has to get done. It’s just that simple.

2. Organization

Hands-down, a well-organized household is another trick for making the magic happen. If everything is where it is supposed to be, and nobody spends more than a few seconds locating what they need, both time and sanity come out very much ahead.

3. Flexibility

In homeschool, in family life, in just about everything, flexibility makes the world-go-round when parents work from home. While it’s important to remain professional on the job and diligently homeschool the children, too, adopting the attitude that not everything will always go as planned is important for avoiding the inevitable disappointment when it doesn’t.

4. Guilt-free permission to say no

When life gets very busy, something has to give. Wise parents learn early on that doing it all only works for Super Heroes and that ordinary people wilt very quickly when trying to do the impossible. Saying no and sticking to it, without a glimmer of thought about depriving the children of something potentially enlightening or life-altering, is your new mantra. Practice it daily.

5. A rock solid support system

Last but not least, cultivate a network of friends and family who respect and understand your goals. Surrounding yourself with a circle of positive, supportive people may seem impossible given your hectic schedule and lack of time for a hot shower let alone a telephone conversation with a good friend. But nurturing these relationships actually saves you time in the long run, as these individuals will make themselves available when you need them, not to mention act as sounding-boards (or punching bags) if it all becomes a little bit too much.

Yes, you can do it. Others have and you can, too. But working at home while homeschooling has many strings attached. Letting go of fantasies and adopting a more realistic look at the big picture is the price. A lifelong bond with your children and giving them the world’s greatest advantage is the reward.

May 31 2011

Homeschooling during hard times

It can happen at any time. Job loss. Illness. Death of a loved one. Any situation that tugs at the family, and especially at the budget. Homeschooling may continue during hard times. But there may need to be some changes in order to keep it going.

Continuing homeschooling during difficult times can be very comforting. There is much to be said for keeping things as normal as possible, particularly for children, when other circumstances may be changing all around around them. Besides, it makes little sense at times like these to park children elsewhere when greater support from family is really what they need. Homeschooling can be the constant that maintains a semblance of normalcy and binds the family together.

What do homeschoolers do during hard times? Contrary to what some may think, they don’t place children in schools. Overall, they tend to hunker down and continue the very best they can. Already well known for their frugality and resourcefulness, for many homeschoolers this isn’t much of a stretch anyway.

There are several tactics that families can try when money becomes very tight. A greater reliance on free and inexpensive homeschooling materials is one way. Using online offerings combined with freebies gathered from book fairs or from friends’ castoff piles can work, too. So can making ones own lessons and curriculum from scratch and not spending so much as a nickel out of pocket.

Loosening schedules and allowing in more flexibility is another way. If regular homeschool is no longer possible, whatever that may look like in a particular home, adopting a new attitude and taking on a new approach always helps. Whether switching over to less expensive products, going a more eclectic route, or choosing to add more unschooling experiences into the mix, schooling will continue, only just a little different from before.

Finally, organizations exist to help homeschoolers who are facing hard times. Homeschool Foundation is one group and Curriculum Share is another. Speak to a homeschool friend or support group leader to find homeschooler-specific help in your area. Other organizations can help with food, clothing and household items as well.

There is rarely a need to stop homeschooling when belts are tightened. By seeking out inexpensive ways to find materials and adopting a willingness to make some changes, homeschooling should continue on just fine.

Feb 23 2011

Down time

I recently met a mom who told me about her children and their homeschooling. She reported that, “all of their waking hours” were spent doing book work. It was her belief that the children should be at the table completing schoolwork all day long. I saw the dining room table and, in fact, it appears that is what they did.

Because homeschooling is all about what parents deem best for their own kids, you can think what you want, but in the end, it is up to each family to do what they do.

In comparison, in my home, I always tried to make sure that my children had adequate “down time”. While we had (and still have) a very rigorous homeschooling schedule, I made sure to schedule time off on a regular basis.

As someone who needs time to myself, I suppose it was instinctive to make sure that my children had time off as well. (Now, we know that the literature says that children need personal space and time for play, too.) In fact, as they were growing up, I tried to enforce an informal rule that I established about leaving the house for activities – that is, one busy day out meant that the next day was spent quietly at home. This worked well for me, as I was always able to get things done at home on alternate days. Plus, my children had time to read, play, go outside, or whatever it is they were unable to do on days that we spent driving and schooling all over town in the van.

While this may not work for everyone, it is just what I did. Other families may adopt different schedules and create time off in other ways. It’s just something to think about.

During down time, children do many things. Homeschooled kids in particular seem to find many clever uses for their time. It isn’t always about watching televison and playing video games, although that happens (in my home) too. But it is often about other things, as well.

For example, when my children have time off they sometimes do things like this:

They also like to do this:

Sometimes, they try this:

And other times, they do this:

And even this:

I don’t consider this time wasted. In fact, if this kind of thing occurs in your home, you may in all good conscience award homeschooling hours for these kinds of activities. I do.

Now, it’s my turn to ask…Do your children have down time on school days? If so, what do they like to during time off?