Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau

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Apr 16 2014

Are homeschool moms lonely?

Are homeschool moms lonely?

So much is written about the about the lack of socialization of homeschooled kids.  Though that ship has sailed (are there still people who believe this any more?), it’s a topic that just never seems to want to die.

What we don’t hear so much about, is the moms.   The social aspect of being a mom, that is.  The isolation.

Do homeschool mammas have adequate socialization?

And does it matter?

I remember when my children were very young.  At one point, I had 3 littles under age 6 and had just moved to a new state.  No family to help in a crisis or just to be there for everyday events.  No friends since I was new to the area.  No resources to rely on since I’d been essentially house-bound and hadn’t really met anyone.

Aside from my husband, it was just me and the kiddos.  Day after day, night after night.

You know the drill.  They came everywhere.  To the store, to doctor visits, to the car repair center, to the bank, and to anywhere I needed to go.  We were attached.  And though we were all together, at times, I felt invisible and alone.

It took years before I ever got out alone.  Literally.  My husband’s work schedule was very demanding, and it just never seemed to happen.   I had met other families by then, so we saw lots of people.  But I never got to go anywhere with friends.

Though my life is different now, I see this with other homeschool moms, too.

I know it’s hard to get out once in a while.   For me, it wasn’t until a sweet friend invited me to go shopping with her many years ago that I even realized what was missing.  It sounds silly, but that one evening changed my life.  I went from being a mother to being me again.  For just a little while.  I felt so much better.

Don’t get me wrong.  I loved everything about my life, and still do.  But those moments of freedom, away from the house, away from the children, away from the chores and the demands, were so rejuvenating.  And though I didn’t do it very often, I managed to sneak out alone or with friends every now and again while my kids were little, just for me.

Recently, while trying to plan a dinner with some local friends, this problem circled back around.  I realized we had all become too busy again.  Though our kids are almost grown and most can even be left home alone, we’ve again become occupied with the matters of doing what we do.  And I don’t like it.

I have written blogs about topics like this before.  You’ll find a couple of related articles here:

Time out for moms and dads

Homeschool burnout

Parents first

Moms who hurt

Too much togetherness

But this time, I’d like to hear from you. Do YOU think homeschool moms are socially isolated?  Are we lonely?

Please  SHARE your thoughts in a COMMENT.  Thank you!

Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau, Quick Start Homeschool

Written by Marie-Claire · Categorized: Homeschool · Tagged: moms

Comments

  1. Sharla says

    April 22, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    I remember times of feeling lonely when my kids were younger. For awhile, we were always going to playdates and very busy and then the year that all the other kids their age started school, the playdates ended and I felt a bit lost. It took awhile before I met other homeschoolers and started to get a bit of visiting time in while our kids played.

    Reply
  2. Trish says

    May 1, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Yes and yes. I have been successful at dealing with this issue off and on throughout the last 21 years of being home. Believe it or not, my youngest is 12 and I am in the lonely boat. I can leave all the kids at home alone now, but I don’t know anyone who isn’t busy, busy, busy. My challenge now seems to be face-to-face connection opportunities rather than email, text, facebook, etc. Suggestions?

    Reply

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