A New Beginning (and what it’s like to go all in)

Faithful followers, thank you for interest and support over the last decades of my work in education. I have felt your love and I have appreciated the strength of our connection. For without it, I might not have continued this fulfilling yet sometimes frustrating work. Without your questions and your feedback, without hearing your stories of success, and without your demand for straightforward advice and the unbiased information I have sought to provide, I would not have had the privilege of serving you for the last 20 years.

A New Beginning

Although I have loved every minute of working with you and your children, it’s time for me to make a new beginning. I am still a stalwart supporter of home education, and my concern for children and families remains steadfast. But I have ignored my inner voice too long. So, like I did many years ago, and like I experienced many years before that, I am making another life shift. Maybe you’ve experienced one before, too. Evolving in this way is what it means to be alive.

I wanted to give a heads-up about some of the things I’ll be doing from now on. Through this article, I’m also using my experience as a way of sharing what a radical transformation often feels like.

“When you touch the celestial in your heart, you will realize that the beauty of your soul is so pure, so vast and so devastating that you have no option but to merge with it. You have no option but to feel the rhythm of the universe with the rhythm of your heart.”

– Amit Ray

Stalling as Self-Sabotage

Perhaps you’ve noticed that the flavor of my writings has changed. Or, maybe you were wondering why the articles I’ve been sending seemed to have had one foot in one realm and one foot in another. Women commonly use this tactic to ease into something new, scared to show up differently, too timid to go full tilt all at once. Tip-toeing our way around new areas feels very safe, as we test the waters one step, one article, one comment, and one social media post at a time.

But “gradual” has never been in my vocabulary, and I became very uncomfortable very quickly. I started recognizing my behavior as apologetic, cowardly, and self-sabotaging. My response was to retreat, laying lower than usual, and busy myself with nonsense until I figured things out. I caught myself writing things just to fill space. I saw myself sharing things I hoped no one would ever see.

Faced with insecurity, women are experts at this art of disappearance, and I was doing so masterfully if I say so myself. We either show up big or shrink back small, and I was shrinking back. The pain and uncertainty of my unhurried steps were not only unproductive, but slowly paralyzing. Recently, I noticed I wasn’t moving forward at all.

Finding Excuses

My pressing work long finished  and my to-do list checked off, I had been filling my time with things of little urgency. Stalling is another common way to avoid next steps, a brilliant solution for drowning the whispers that are calling from deep within. But when the yearnings of our hearts start to accelerate uncontrollably, our soul’s messages start begging us to hurry up. For me, that time is now. For me, I cannot wait another minute.

How about you?

Going All In

American novelist Pearl Buck once said, “To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind.”  The truth is, though I have a deep desire to serve, my heart desires to focus on something else. My new joy is to serve women who are just like me. And for anyone to operate with a free mind, they must free and unburden themselves of anything standing in the way. To meet the future with honesty and purity and true purpose, we must stop every half-assed, fruitless attempt to do it all, and  focus strongly forward on that one more beautiful thing.

That is what it takes to go all in.

Anything short of that is wasteful and counter-productive.

Like other seekers and changers, I am excited for these next steps, but I am also afraid. Though fear is the trademark of change, it is also the curse of one who stays the same. Choosing fear over stagnation is really saying, “I am brave enough to start”, even when having no idea of what comes next, and no sense of what might lie beyond what we are currently able to see at this very moment. None of us are immune to the effect of deep transformation, and yet few of us would trade it for the other.

As a transformational life coach and an emotional healing practitioner,  I am armed and ready with the tools necessary for my own defense. I shall use those tools to help you, too, given the honor of working together.

I shall not allow fear to prevent me from braving ahead.

If you are someone who has never undergone personal transformation, the self-talk is unique, but fairly predictable. It can be either forceful and relentless, knocking one down like heavy waves during a storm. Or the talk might come as whispers for many years before becoming either uncomfortably loud or unbearably persistent.

Though the language is slightly different for every one of us, the messages are always the same. We will hear, or sometimes just sense, things that sound like:

Something is not right. I know there is more.

I can’t put my finger on it, I just know it’s not…this.

I can’t figure it out, but I can’t shut it out either.

Something keeps speaking to me. I keep hearing it over and over.

I am uncomfortable where I am. I know something needs to change, but I’m not sure what.

Am I ready? Maybe I’m not ready. I need time. I need education. I need practice.

Am I good enough? Everyone else knows more about this than me.

Who am I to think I have anything to contribute? There’s so much more to this than I’ll ever know.

Nobody will hire me. I’ll probably end up broke.

I should stick with what I already know. I don’t like it, but at least I know I’m good at it. 

I need to do this for myself. But it doesn’t feel right to focus on myself. I am selfish.

People rely on me. I have a responsibility to people. Who will pick up where I leave off?

If I really cared about people, I wouldn’t abandon them in this way.

How can I charge money for my services? If I really wanted to serve others, I would be doing all of this for free.

Who do I think I am? I’m not special. 

Everyone will laugh at me. I will lose all my friends.

I don’t care what people think. Actually, I worry a lot what people think.

I am too sick to change.

I am not smart enough to change.

I am not brave enough to change.

What’s Next?

That list of emotions represents just some of the topics I’ll be talking about here in the future. Articles, videos and interviews will all support your personal well-being, your empowerment and your evolution. Exercises will be designed to help you discover where you’re at, and move you toward the life you really want.

I’ll be sharing information and you’ll be learning from top experts about a wide range of women’s issues, emotional healing, and creating a life of your own design. We’ll hone in on things like perfectionism, the pursuit of excellence, gratitude and forgiveness, loving yourself, squelching emotionally based illness, playing small, speaking your truth, and so much more. You’ll hear about healing techniques and other natural ways that are proven to calm the nervous system and neutralize hidden emotions lurking unhappily beneath the surface.

You’re invited to continue following me as I announce new courses, new programs and provide valuable information for you and all the other women in your life. You might even want to invite a friend along, as you participate on a journey of self awareness together!

Some of my services are already available here.

And keep watching for my next email packed with valuable information.

Standing with you today and every day,