Women's Mind Body & Spirit Archives - Page 9 of 10

Aug 27 2015

Take a “Power Hour” and start your day right

Are your mornings always hectic and crazy? Do your days often go much differently than planned?

It may be time to change your morning routine. Don’t have one? You may have found the problem.

Having a morning routine is a practice many people use to set themselves up for the day. By following a routine consistently, it makes for a smoother and more peaceful beginning, leading to a happier, more productive rest of the day.

Just imagine waking to the thought of a peaceful beginning to your day. What if — in the first 60 minutes upon rising – you could accomplish all the things you personally need to start your day off right?

That’s the thinking behind the Power Hour. Using the technique, and using it right, you’ll be ready to face your days head-on, already nourished and strengthened for whatever else life has in store.

Allow your mind to wander for a moment. What would it take for you to be ready to face each day? An interrupted cup of tea? A nourishing breakfast? Watching the sun rise? If you had 60 minutes every morning to do exactly what you wanted, how would you use it to get ready for your day?

Whatever it is, just write it down. Whether it’s exercise, medication, checking email, or anything else, write down what it would take to begin every day feeling refreshed in all areas that matter for your personal well-being.

Now, armed with your list, set an intention to make it happen. Think of ways you can schedule in the Power Hour you truly desire. For some, it might take getting up an hour earlier. For others, it might just take an honest conversation with a spouse, explaining your need for this time for yourself each day.

Moms, in particular, can benefit by starting the day with an hour to themselves. This can be achieved by allowing children to sleep in an extra hour, or by waiting until the kids rise and become busy with some activity, then going to her room for 60 minutes while they’re safely occupied. Power hours can also be used at the office, in the car, on the beach, or anywhere at all.

The possibilities for our days start to change dramatically when we check in with ourselves and our daily lives first thing in the morning. See if a Power Hour can bring you the level of comfort you desire to start every day out right!

As a coach, writer, recovered over-doer and busyness addict, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle while the mind tries to sabotage your success. In my journey to vibrant health, I created a personalized health system of nutrition and supplementation, lifestyle changes, and I retrained my mind and the energy of my body. I view my success as the formula to my happy, healthy life. I now empower other women to create their own personalized formulas, including the tools and strategies just right for them! Amazing life shifts come from our relationships. I look forward to helping you, too!

Jan 22 2015

If you come and visit me

If you come and visit me, I’d be so happy, I’d fix us tea. Maybe muffins. And if things go well, I will also serve fresh fruit with cream.

But before you visit me, there are some things you should know. You see, I’m a mom just like you, and I can never predict how our visit will go.

Let me warn you, as I try to explain, while hoping not to scare you away.

If you come and visit me, there will most likely be noise. My kids might be playing a game, so there will be shouting. Our dogs might be barking at something, and could even start barking at you, too. There will be things going on outside, like mowers and trucks. And as much as I would like to, I cannot stop the washing machine or the dishwasher, or risk never having another minute to run them again.

If you come to visit me, the phone might start ringing. In fact, it may ring a lot. See, our home business keeps our family going. I can’t ignore calls since lost calls means lost income. I am sorry if we get interrupted as we chat.

If you come to visit me, my house could be a wreck. You see, on Mondays, it’s messy from the weekends, and by Fridays it’s messy from the week. If we can plan a get-together on Tuesday, it’s more likely to be picked up. Then again, we could choose a Wednesday after my kids have done their chores. Maybe we could meet on a Thursday, so I will have all week to straighten up. But if you visit any other day, you’ll need to understand that we live here, and my home doesn’t always look as pretty as I’d like you to see it.

Sometimes, when you visit me, I am embarrassed. It might be about the way I look, since I haven’t had a hair cut in a long time, and because sleeplessness and stress makes my acne flare. It could be about the way I am dressed, since I didn’t have time to get ready exactly the way I had hoped. I could be embarrassed about something my kids blurt out in front of you, something my husband does before he says goodbye, or something you notice in my fridge or in that pile of mail on the counter.

When you come to visit me, there may be tears. A child might get hurt or become frustrated with something I have asked him to do. The tears might also come from me. You need to know that I cry for all kinds of things, and that the things you tell me or the things I tell you could unleash a whole stream of emotions I have been waiting to share.

Please, friend, visit me anyway.

Visit me for me, and not for any other reason.

Visit me, even if you leave having had nothing but a glass of lukewarm water and a covering of dog hairs on the back of your sweater.

Visit me because we can, not because we will eat fancy treats and talk about fancy things and you will admire my fancy home.

Visit me because you may need to cry, and I may need to cry, too.

Please visit me, because when we call or when we text, it isn’t the same as seeing your beautiful face and feeling your warm hug around my shoulders.

So, as long as you’re okay with knowing what it may be like ahead of time, please come and visit me.

I miss you.

Nov 05 2014

Climb that ladder. But remember to bring the kiddies along, too.

I’m about to push a button. By writing about something a little touchy.

I fear I may ruffle some feathers.

In advance — I’m sorry.

But, if you’ve been with me for some time, you’ve begun to understand. Read previous posts if you have to.

You know I don’t want you to settle. And I don’t think you need to sacrifice yourself just to homeschool, either.

Remember, I started this blog, this web site, and began offering my services because I want your life to be extraordinary.

Mine is.

I know you want that, too.

But, if I’m right, in addition to homeschooling, making a home, and being a parent, another part of you wants personal and professional success.

You want a job, a career, and a reason to get up in the morning besides math and laundry.

You seek online popularity. A following. Connection. A side income. Free product. An outlet, a hobby, fulfillment, recognition, appreciation, and the rest. Or, maybe you need to replace — even exceed – a full-time income, too. I get that. I really do.

You can have it.

But, a word of caution…

Your kids need you, too.

See, if you aren’t careful, observant, ultra vigilant and very-very-very aware, your path to success can be detrimental to your kids.

That’s right — you might actually harm them.

In fact, while it may seem innocent enough, your commitment to your success, your personal evolution, your professional development — while commendable and certainly very valuable for you – well, it could leave them (your kids) in the dust.

…your personal evolution, your professional development…could leave your kids in the dust.

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The dust, folks.

In search of your own success, isn’t it possible — even a teensy bit possible – that there isn’t enough of you left for them?

Taking your attention away from your kids and heaping it upon yourself has a way of undermining things. Your homeschooling, for sure. But, in reality, everything surrounding and having to do with your kids.

Let me be very clear. For us homeschool parents, focusing on ourselves is necessary. It’s required for our health, a prerequisite for our sanity, and critically necessary for our relationships and overall happiness. It’s a no-brainer, really. ALL parents need a break every once in a while.

But overly focusing on ourselves (our blogs, our stats, our social media, our goals, our training) is risky. Unless well-scheduled and well-balanced, there may be little time left to focus on the other things we need to do. As in, our kiddies.

When climbing your own ladder of success, please — I beg you. Take your children with you.

When climbing your own ladder of success, please — I beg you. Take your children with you.

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See, it’s a balancing act. And I’m worried. Because, for some of you, that balance may not be quite right.

I worry you may ignore them.

I worry you may shush them, assign busywork, brush them off, or turn on the television/computer/video box, a little too much.

I worry the lure of a second income, the distraction of social media, and the whole ‘I can have it all’ mentality may suck you in.

And, heck, I’ll just say it…I worry achieving your professional goals may make you less-than-a-great-parent. Not forever. But at a time when your kids really need you.

Have I ever been guilty? You bet. But, fortunately, I think I learned quickly. I can tell when I’ve ignored my role or my family just a little too much. I can recognize when I have allowed something in our home or school or health or relationships to slip. Either I notice it, or they tell me.

That’s why I don’t blog more often.

That’s why my list of projects is always a mile long.

Believe me, this all takes practice. I’m not perfect, either. It takes trial and error to get the balance just right, and then things go and change, so you have to start all over again. In our home, this seems to happen several times a year.

But it’s worth it, don’t you think? Because the kids won’t need 100% of you forever.

Besides, your kids want to climb, too. They need to. That’s why you’re doing everything you do!

Try to remember why you’re homeschooling, as this will guide you. You’ll know when to give the kids a boost, helping them to reach the first and second steps. You’ll know when to hold their hands, and when to back up and just start holding the ladder. You’ll know when to stand there watching nervously, and when it’s time to turn your back so they can climb alone.

And, if you’ve done your job right, they’ll know how to avoid the top-most, wobbly step.

And then there will be more time for you.

So, when you plan your success, parents, feel free to climb separately from your children, or by holding hands together.

But, please, just don’t climb alone.

Other articles you might like:

Time out for moms and dads

Growing great habits

The importance of listening to your kids

Working parents can homeschool, too

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Feb 19 2012

Moms who hurt

Homeschooling is more than just educating the kids. It’s also about learning in the real world and meeting the many different kinds of people that are out there. These meetings may be superficial, like chatting randomly with other moms during park days and never getting to know them much at all. But they can also be deeper, by seeing the same families over and over, and developing an understanding of what some of the other moms may be going through while trying to homeschool her kids.

Sometimes, moms who hurt are easy to spot. These women may receive help, understanding or accommodations simply because everyone knows she can use a helping hand. But other times, situations are well hidden with no evidence at all. It is impossible to ever know just how many moms come to dance class suffering with depression, fibromyalgia, anxiety or another invisible illness, since they look just like all of the other moms on the outside while hurting deeply within. How many moms sit right next to you during orchestra practice thinking about devastating life situations you may never even fathom — the loss of a home, unemployment, abuse, a child who is very ill, or perhaps the death of a loved one?

Though we may never know how many moms are suffering alone, women often have a way of identifying at least some of the moms in their community who need help. And though we may not be able to reach them all, lending an ear or a helping hand could make the difference in one woman’s life, making it worth doing. And though homeschooling moms understandably already have plenty to do, there are many different ways to help that take little or no time at all. And what woman wouldn’t want to help another mom in need if she could?

I have compiled a list of just some of the little things that homeschooling moms can do to help other moms who hurt. Consider doing anything on this list, or anything else you come up with on your own, the next time you encounter another mom who could use your help:

Sit beside her if she is alone, making yourself available to talk during meetings or events
Make yourself available by telephone or text messaging, for those times when she needs connection
Bring along an extra cup of tea or coffee and share it with her at the next activity
Include her in an activity or conversation, making her welcome even if she knows no one
Watch her child on the playground for a few moments, giving her time to rest or think quietly alone
Offer to drive and/or chaperone her child to and from a field trip or other activity
Offer to have her child to your home for several hours of play-time or school work
Make an extra meal or bake a boxed cake and drop it to her home
Offer to babysit for a couple of hours in her home or yours
Tuck an encouraging note, a small gift card or several dollars into a thoughtful greeting card and mail
Arrange for small needs to be met, such as a winter coat for a child or soccer cleats for a player going without
Procure an item she needs for homeschooling, like a book, a hard-to-find item, or some school supplies
Use your talents to perform a simple service she can really use, like completing a tax form or a student transcript
Offer a luxury just for her, like performing a home hair color, a manicure, or help sprucing up a kitchen or bedroom
Invite her to a women-only event, such as a home party, mom’s night out, encouraging lecture, religious study, exercise class or anything else, with no strings attached but to come and enjoy some time out

Can you think of other ways to help moms in need? I appreciate your COMMENT below, listing any ideas I have not included on my list.

Jul 10 2011

Prioritizing important for parents, lifestyle, sanity

After homeschooling a while, one of the things parents lament is how busy they’ve become. And yet with homeschooling being so super-flexible, letting ourselves get crazy busy doesn’t even make any sense.

A wise person once said people find ways to fill the time they’ve got. This couldn’t be truer in some families. Is your family like that?

It seems the abundance of free time caused by homeschooling can prompt parents to find creative ways to fill all that extra time. New homeschoolers in particular are guilty of over-planning. I admit it. Way back when, I did it, too.

Though ambitious schedules can work, it’s important to separate out what’s really needed from everything else. Or, risk overwhelm and exhaustion, that is. Only through careful prioritizing can families really pack the punch they’d like into every day, and still stay calm in the process.

Did you realize prioritizing is actually different for every family? For some, it might mean placing on temporary hold (or quitting altogether) the extra classes and activities that aren’t really a necessary. In others, prioritizing means cutting back job hours, volunteer duties, or slightly lowering standards for a clean and tidy home. Still others find cutting course content is what it takes to get that buffer of space and regain sanity. As tough as these decisions might be, freeing that extra time — and saving the physical and mental energy – is usually worth it.

If you’re uneasy right about now, you aren’t alone. Producers, multi-taskers and high-achieving types (like me) have trouble prioritizing at first. We can place artificial pressure on ourselves to do everything, all at once, all the time. Combine that tendency with the perception that others seem to accomplish a lot more than we do, and feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy begin to grow.

With time and practice, though, prioritizing gets easier. Learning to say no, recognizing we’re good enough, and trying not to compare ourselves to others takes time to hone. But, eventually, we can settle into what works for us, whether or not it resembles we originally thought life should look like.

At least once a month (mark a calendar if you need to), take time to look at your priorities and how your days have been going. Reorganize what needs to get done each day, each week and each homeschool year. Remember homeschooling is a choice, and with that choice comes ultimate control. Only by prioritizing can homeschoolers truly have the schedule (and the life!) they desire.