large families Archives - Page 4 of 7 - Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau

Apr 10 2013

Growing great habits

I talk a lot about great habits in my work as a homeschool advocate and mentor. Though I absolutely believe that respecting children means letting them become who need to be, I also feel strongly that kids must develop great habits for a successful life.

We all define success differently. But, I think most people will agree on the basics. Having a solid work ethic and compassion for all mankind, for instance, are great things for all of us to strive for. Those are just 2 of many examples we can set in our homes, and our kids will learn habitually.

Growing great habits in children comes first from modeling great behavior ourselves. Kids watch and learn continuously by what we do. Habits we think are barely noticeable — like saying ‘good morning’ to the people we meet – are easily picked up by our kids. Harder things — like working a problem until it is solved – get noticed too. They’re watching.

Great habits come from consistency, too, allowing habits to become cemented in our minds and become patterns in our bodies. Children raised with continually changing expectations face obstacles in this area. Those raised with consistency are on a much faster track to good habits, and benefit greatly by learning them early on.

Kids raised with consistency are on a much faster track to good habits

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Are parents ever perfect? No way. That, too, is a lesson for children, who notice how we handle imperfections and mistakes.

But overall, watching and learning from us, at the very earliest ages is what produces benefits throughout the years.

So, what does this mean for your homeschool? The answer, in fact, depends on your style of living.

In one home, great habits might mean rising at a reasonable time and starting school work without being asked. It might mean stopping to help a sibling who is struggling, or offering to watch a toddler while a parent tends to another child. It could mean working through a problem until it’s solved, or not asking for help until all of the usual steps have been taken (re-reading the lesson, checking a video, or whatever else is required in your home).

In another home, great habits could include jumping in to help with laundry, dinner preps or other things going on throughout the day. It might be answering phone calls and door bells in ways that distract others as little as possible. It might mean moving from subject to subject throughout the day or putting homework in a tray where you’d like it to go.

In our home, habits include starting school each day without being reminded. It means checking daily if a test, quiz or lab is scheduled instead of regular lessons. It means remembering field trip days and other activities, and planning work around time spent away from home. And it means letting me know before taking a break, since breaks and down-time are already scheduled throughout the day.

My kids have learned other great habits, too. Like not watching TV programs we don’t allow, remembering to ask permission before visiting web sites, and asking before downloading games that require consent.

My kids automatically walk pets at certain times of day, close doors to keep them safe, and pick up shredded bits of paper and tufts of hair the pets always manage to leave behind.

They come to my aid every time I return home with a car full of groceries. They never fail to help when I am carrying a heavy load.

My kids follow the chore schedules I publish and read the notes I leave throughout the house. And while this won’t be popular in every family, my kids know I require a certain style of dress and footwear when we go out, and remember to ask me (almost) every time.

Remember, every family is different. Which means habits learned there will be different, too.

The thing that is important to remember is that habits learned at home are the ones kids will apply later in life. Making sure we teach the right ones is the key to getting it right.

Habits learned at home are the ones kids will apply later in life.

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Want to know how homeschoolers do the stuff they do? Want to know the secrets to their successes?

My e-book, The Way Homeschoolers Do, answers those questions, and lots more. Learn the 10 habits of the most successful homeschoolers, and which you can apply in your own home today!

My readers like to hear about the habit your kids develop in your home. SHARE some of them here by leaving a COMMENT.

Feb 22 2013

Homeschooling tips for sleepless moms: Part 1 of 2

When my children were very young, they hardly slept at all! They weren’t daytime nappers, and only occasionally dozed off briefly in a car or stroller. If that wasn’t enough, they were light nighttime sleepers who would wake at almost any sound.

Those were priceless years, but sleepless years for my husband and I. He worked outside the home and thankfully managed to hold it together on his own. My days, however, revolved around 15-minute or 30-minute chunks of time when one of the babies or toddlers dozed off — or if I was lucky, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. Nights yielded slightly longer periods of sleep, though not much more. It was a joyous yet very exhausting season of my life, to say the least.

I called my physical and mental state of mind back then, “The Mommy Zone” — I was eternally tired, and sometimes cranky and frustrated, too.

Sound familiar? I hear this from many of you, too. It’s a question I receive a lot from new homeschoolers and parents of the very young.

How are moms supposed to homeschool and take care of the home and family when stressed and fatigued? Is enrolling the children in school or preschool the only answer to regaining sanity and catching a wink of sleep?

Are you there right now?

Looking back, there were many things I did “right” about homeschooling my kids during the Mommy Zone years. Homeschooling provided the freedom to enjoy my children and the togetherness of our family, and gave me the flexibility I needed to allow learning happen differently each and every day. But I made some mistakes, too. Looking back, I guess I got smarter with every new child and experience, but I sure wish someone had told me how to get it right the first time!

In this post and the next, I’ll share some of my best tips for homeschooling when sleepless and weary. I hope these can help you move through those years more easily, and spare you some of the frustrations I experienced after making some incorrect choices.

1. First and foremost, avoid rigid or very structured curriculum and methods for your homeschooling. Placing too many demands on any family member is stressful enough — try adding failure to meet daily milestones to the mix. When mom is already performing a balancing act and is tired to boot, not getting enough done quickly turns from disappointment to failure. Using lots and lots of books, unit studies, any type of relaxed kind of homeschooling approach, and taking advantage of unschooling strategies is extremely helpful when children are very young and moms are stretched to the limits. Getting creative with road-schooling activities in the car and on trips to and from errands, and wasting no time counting all of the education that happens unexpectedly in the record books, helps too. Learning will still take place by leaps and bounds, but the sense of completion will come more from having a good day than how many questions were answered on a test or worksheet — and that’s worthwhile, too.

2. Next, take advantage of store-bought materials during those years whenever you can. Though it will temporarily squelch any dreams you had of creating your own fully-customized and homemade homeschool materials, there is nothing wrong with not doing everything 100% yourself the first few years (or ever!). Use packaged homeschool products; allow children to benefit from quality television, audio and video games; purchase educational toys and games at department store or online; fill the house with books or e-readers; and freely download games and activities on your computer completely guilt-free. Moms who come into homeschooling with a “Super Mom Complex” thinking they’ll develop everything themselves and keep up with their friends are most at risk for early homeschool burnout; but, anyone can fall into the trap of feeling inadequate when tired and stretched too thin.

3. Third, prepare your home environment for the demands of homeschooling with little ones around. Think carefully about the homeschool, organizational and comfort items you need to improve functionality and reduce chaos throughout your day. This may take some time and money, but the payoff on the other end is priceless. Study what other moms do and implement ideas that may work in your home. Talk to moms of littles and those with large families and model behaviors you really like. One thing that helped tremendously for me was creating “safe places” for children in every room of my home. I placed play yards, gates, spare cribs, and even extra car seats in strategic locations all around my home (including the bathrooms) so that I always had a safe spot to place an infant or toddler when I needed a moment to myself. I set bins full of activities and toys within easy reach of children in every room of the house, and I used lower cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and office to do the same. I stocked my vehicle and outdoor spaces (including my garage where I might re-enter with a sleeping child in a stroller) with supplies I might need, should I find myself with a few moments to balance a checkbook or catch a nap for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. I was rewarded for my efforts by being able to accomplish small tasks everywhere I moved about the house, plus an occasional nap if everyone happened to be quiet at the very same time.

4. Finally, though it may seem unrelated to homeschooling, practicing exercise and good nutrition has everything to do with maintaining a happy, healthy homeschool environment for the family. Doing whatever it takes to absorb replenishing sunlight every day, eat fresh produce and whole grains, and find ways to be active (through movement and exercise) and/or peaceful (through spiritual practice or meditation) every day goes a long way when energy stores are very low and the world seems out of control. At the very least, these efforts work to help moms avoid illness and emotional duress, but more likely the whole family will benefit from more energetic and productive mom as well.

Look for the next post with additional tips and please add yours in the COMMENT area below.

Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau is a college professor who traded in her tenure to become a homeschool mom 20+ years ago. A homeschooling pioneer and the founder of many groups and organizations, she works to advance home education, and is an outspoken supporter of education reform coast to coast. Her book, Suddenly Homeschooling: A Quick Start Guide to Legally Homeschool in Two Weeks, is industry-acclaimed as it illustrates how homeschooling can rescue children and families from the public school system, and how anyone can begin homeschooling within a limited time-frame, with no teaching background whatsoever. A writer, a homeschool leader, and a women’s life coach, Marie-Claire mentors in a variety of areas that impact health, education and lifestyle. A conference speaker, she has appeared at FPEA, H.E.R.I., Home Education Council of America, The Luminous Mind, Vintage Homeschool Moms, iHomeschool Network, and many other events. Her articles have appeared in and on Holistic Parenting, CONNECT,Homefires, Homemaking Cottage, Kiwi, Circle of Moms, and hundreds of sites and blogs nationwide. Marie-Claire can be reached at contactmarieclaire@gmail.com.

Jan 16 2013

Home education CHEAPER than free government school?

Think government school is free? Think again.

It may sound free, but add up what families actually spend on school and the answer may surprise you. Double or triple that number for families with multiple kids and it’s downright staggering.

Let’s discuss.

The natural assumption is to think homeschooling is more expensive. Surely, the extra income made possible only by having two working parents must be cheaper than quitting a job and staying home.

Right?

Not so fast.

For well-paying jobs, maybe. But middle-income folks — especially those on the lower end – might want to re-examine the facts.

I’ve never met a parent who hasn’t forehead-slapped when actually looking over the numbers. And, while my figures are approximate at best*, I think they’ll be close enough to grab your attention.

If you’re used to waving good-bye to the school bus, it’s because it’s the only system you’ve ever known.

There is another way. And it isn’t necessarily more expensive. In fact, it might actually be cheaper.

Join me on this tour of some typical expenses incurred by families using government schooling. I promise you’ll never look at “free” school the same way again.

Comparing costs of homeschooling vs. “free government education

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The Basics

Let’s start with the basics. Those fixed costs for things that are fairly non-negotiable; that is, if you want your kid attending school that year. Parents usually have no trouble recognizing this list, since it’s pretty much the bare-bones price of attending free government school, per child, per year.

I’m estimating here, so let’s not nit pick. I’m trying to give you a general idea:

Uniforms or dress code appropriate clothing: $200-$1,000
Accessories not included in the above (e. g., headbands, shoes, socks, belts): $80-$300
Lunch box and water bottle (for those carrying): $8-$25
Backpack (regulation style): $20-$75
School lunch, packed or purchased (with zero as free lunch or $2.50 per day): $0-$450
Transportation to and from bus stop: $0-$300
Required school supply list (e.g., notebooks and pencils): $20-$100
Required classroom supplies (e.g., tissues and hand-sanitizers): $20-$50

Total spent per child for basics range from low to high, at about $348-2,300 per year.

But wait, there’s more. Lots more.

The Essentials

Let’s add in the essentials. These are the items not specifically required, but every parent knows their child needs anyway. Though they’re not always needed at the very start of the year, they manage to dent the budget early on, often accompanied by a, “…will aid student performance this year” note from the teacher.

Essentials include:

Course-specific tools (e.g., headsets, scientific calculators, electronics): $20-$500
Gym clothing and athletic footwear: $50-$200
Lanyard for school I.D. (dollar store vs. Vera Bradley): $1-$30
School-approved sweaters and outerwear (though not allowed to wear in school): $30-$250
Additional comfort items (varies by student and best known by teacher): $20-$100

Essentials tend to add another $121-$1,080 to the budget, increasing the annual total to $469-3,380 per student, per year.

Preventative and Routine Care

Preparing students for school and keeping them active and healthy during the school year are important, too. Thus, these categories come with the school package, too. Varying widely in cost, these are incurred at some point nonetheless, either before or at some time during the year:

Physical exams and required immunizations: $0-$250
Back-to-school hair cut, plus regular grooming throughout the year (conformance with school code): $40-$300
Sunscreen (schools may not provide): $10-$30
School breakfast (when none available at home, @ $1.50 per day): $0-$270
Afterschool care (in school or other provider, either with a friend or a conservative $15 per day): $0-$2,700
Transportation (gasoline for car drivers who cannot or will not use the bus): $360-$1,800

The tally at this point brings the annual total per child as high as $8,730 a year.

That’s not all.

Near-Essentials

Let’s not forget the near-essentials known to creep up unexpectedly during the year:

Head lice protection: $30-$250
Classroom gifts (for teacher or prize box): $10-$75
Teacher gifts: $5-$100
Fundraisers (i.e., those $17 tubs of cookie dough): $20-$250
Special events (e.g., tickets, dances, trips, proms): $40-$600
Purchased classroom treats (pre-packaged for parties and events): $10-$100
Extracurricular costs (e.g., musical instruments, sporting gear): $50-$2,000

Bringing the grand total between $1,000 to over $12,000 per child, per year.

Eyes wide open yet? Let’s move on.

Extras

Add in these extras to make the year more manageable for students, and more pleasant for teachers and disciplinarians:

Medications (recommended to help study & focus, or combat anxiety & depression): $0-$2,000
Spare medications for the nurse’s office: $0-$250
Private testing or learning diagnosis: $0-$1000 (or much more)
Required change of clothing (younger students): $10-$50
Afterschool trips to and from the public library to supplement non-existent school resources: $0-$100
Tutoring for struggling students (from $20-$40 per hour): $700-$1,400
Extra resources (i.e., spare copies of school books to keep at home, since school books must stay on campus): $20-$400
PTA/PTO expenses (for the little extras not provided by the school): $0-$500
Fees not covered (e.g., for labs, art projects and study aids): $20-$200
Late fees (example: library books): $1-$25
Competitions (e.g., required science fairs and speech contests): $20-$150
Lost or stolen items (lunch box or trombone): $8-$500

Not to mention the inevitable:

Bruises, sprains and broken bones on the playground $0-$3,000
Flu vaccines and treatments: $0-$25
Additional transportation to and from afterschool activities (or the detention hall): $25-$75

At this point, parents are spending $1,848-$21,780 per child. Each child. Each year.

That’s TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS folks. In real out-of-pocket money. And the list just keeps on going.

Oh. It’s per child.

So, unless you’re earning more than that times however-many-kids-you-have, it may be time to ask the important questions:

How much is it worth to send my kids to school? Are all of my earnings going toward paying for free school?

How much would I pay to keep my kids home? Is my salary worth it, when I really bring so little of it home?

What are my kids getting in return? Is the education they’re receiving worth it?

How can I put a value on the only childhood my kids will ever get?

For some, these are difficult questions. For others, however, seeing it in black and white provides a whole new perspective. And we’re only talking financials here — not all of the other effects that are impossible to put a price on.

Heads up. This doesn’t even begin to touch the cost of private schooling, either.

What would you say to eliminating these expenses?

What do you think life would look like with your children at home, influenced primarily by you?

How would your child’s life be different if he/she were educated at home instead?

Are you interested in making a life change that could change your child’s future forever?

Don’t forget, the returns of homeschooling are tremendous — academically, socially, and financially, too. Listen, because this is no small thing. The amount of college aid received by one homeschool graduate could theoretically offset the cost of staying home for a few years, or even the whole darned time! The earning potential of homeschool graduates is high, too, promising them the rewards of your investment.

What do you think of this concept? How do your expenses compare to those I have outlined here? Are they close — or maybe even higher?

In fairness, homeschooling comes with a price tag, too. And, though some do it completely free, most spend at least a little, maybe $100-$400 a year or more. But comparing the two worlds is ludicrous since it isn’t apples to apples we’re talking about. Thus numbers don’t tell the entire story.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Anyone can homeschool but homeschooling isn’t for everyone.” But if money is what’s holding you back, think again. Create a similar spreadsheet in your home to find out if home education is more affordable than you originally thought. Perhaps you’ll rethink the rewards of homeschooling all over again.

Can you afford to keep your children home? Numbers never lie. #homeschool

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*Costs are approximate and derived from a survey of expenses incurred by families in my local area. Yours may vary.

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Oct 01 2012

Where the money goes

Many families keep a close watch on spending. But perhaps no families are better at pinching pennies than homeschoolers — typically supporting and educating larger-than-average number of kids on one income.

It may surprise others the choices we homeschoolers make with our money.

I admit allowing my mind to wander about this from time to time.

How do the families I meet manage to get by? How is it some folks can afford dining out, vacations, and vehicles — not to mention tablets and smart phones that cost more than the average mortgage?

The answer, really, is that homeschooling is a lifestyle choice…and every one of us does life differently.

It can be difficult for family and friends to understand how we make financial decisions. Oftentimes, non-homeschoolers cannot relate to our choices at all.

Outsiders may may wonder, for instance, why homeschool parents choose to keep children home instead of taking advantage of “free” government schools. When free education, free socialization, and free afterschool programs are available, why must we keep our children home with us instead?

Non-homeschoolers may ask why homeschool moms cannot always afford “nights out”, the latest fashions, or regular hair cuts at expensive salons. They may wonder why even something like a frozen drink at the coffee bar is entirely out of the question.

Fathers can sometimes express embarrassment over continually begging out of hanging with the guys. It may be difficult for others to understand his need to rush home to relieve his wife, spend time with his children, or flat-out choosing to spend his dollars on something else instead.

Why do we choose family-friendly learning destinations over luxurious vacations, larger and durable vehicles over more comfortable transportation, and school books over tickets to concerts and movies? We know the answers; however, our friends may not get it. “Why would anyone give up a career and all that extra income unless don’t have to?” they may ask.

But spending decisions are highly personal.

Even within the homeschool community, what works in one family may not always work in another.

An interesting statistic has surfaced in the last several years, which puts the average spending per homeschooled child at an estimated $400-$600 per kid. This number can mislead our friends and families, however, as it includes just the cost of books and materials for one school year.

When factoring the many other expenses that relate to learning, and which make homeschooling possible, this figures rises quite a bit. Those looking in from the outside may again wonder what it is we do with all that extra money.

So I say again — homeschool spending is very individual.

Perhaps that is the message we can choose to share with our friends.

We can also share that our priorities are set upon raising our children the best way we know how. We might offer that keeping up with others does not fit within within our parenting philosophy. Or perhaps we can explain our desire to invest in our children — an investment that will greatly outlast material things.

Related articles:

Homeschool Done Your Way

Taming the Grocery Bill

Teach Kids About Money

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Jun 22 2012

Complete curriculum packages

When using homeschool curriculum products, there are generally 2 ways to go. The first is to pull together a variety of different materials from many different sources and many different publishers. The second is to purchase a complete homeschool curriculum that includes everything you need for an entire year all in one box.

Let’s talk about the second option – the complete curriculum package. New homeschoolers often like the convenience of buying complete curriculum packages for the peace of mind they offer. Since someone else has done the research, the planning and the preparation, all parents need to do is choose a grade level and pay the bill.

But there are other reasons why these turn-key curriculum packages are appealing, too.

By allowing experts to decide which subjects should be taught and how many lessons should be completed, they take the burden off parents who lack the expertise, don’t have the time, or would just prefer not to have to do it themselves.
Everything needed for the entire school year is included. Though some systems do require purchasing extra books (for instance, readers or novels) or supplies (science or art, for example), they are complete when they arrive.
The entire system functions well together, because lessons are integrated and/or complement one other throughout the year. This eliminates the guesswork out of wondering if something will be covered in one class or should be taught in another.
Because the entire year’s worth of material comes from a single publisher, students tend to be up and running more quickly. The learning curve is lessened since students learn one set of instructions or a single set of keystrokes, and then use the same pattern across the board.
Lesson plans, instructions and even scripts for parents are often included, requiring little or no preparation time for parents. This can be a tremendous time-saver for working parents or those with many children working independently in the homeschool.
Finally, while these systems may seem expensive at first, when comparing the cost to individually purchased books and materials, they often come out cheaper than the alternatives.

Complete curriculum sets are not for everyone, however. There is little variety, thus students may find these tedious or boring over time. Parents also need to recognize that these products are developed with “typical” students in mind — not for students who may be working at different levels in different subjects. But despite these objections, complete curriculum systems may be exactly what your family is looking for at this time.

Check out these examples of just some of the products available on the market. Then, ask your friends and do additional research to find the system that works best for your student.

Trail Guide to Learning

Core Knowledge

Great Books Academy

Global Village School