stress Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau

Jul 27 2017

Things We Can’t Control

There is no worse feeling in the human experience than being out of control. Helpless and desperate, exhausted from trying, it’s a sense that events are swirling crazily around us, but we’re powerless to do anything about them.

I liken the feeling to being locked in a glass box on an old game show. Perhaps you can recall the scenes from long ago, those of frantic contestants trying to grab dollar bills in the air?

Feeling out of control is like reaching a hand into the abyss, trying to grab a bit of the chaos and tame it. It’s an urgent need to restore comfort, by controlling at least a little bit of something, but not being able to do even that. During those times when there’s nothing we can do, a terror often strikes from the futility of wanting to control what we ourselves cannot.

What to do when you’re feeling out of control #women #unbusy #release

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Surrender

It’s at these times that we must surrender. Anything else is either counter-productive or insanity.

Surrender doesn’t mean giving up. It just means recognizing that things are going to happen how they’re going to happen anyway. No behavior from us will amount to anything. And no amount of worry will ever change the outcome.

Surrender doesn’t have mean gloom and doom, either. We can remind ourselves that things always work out as they should. Recognizing that life is here to support us, not the other way around, is enormously comforting. Though we may not like it, surrendering is the only way to stop fighting against the tide.

They’re Just Thoughts

When feeling out of control, it can help to recognize that feelings are just thoughts. Looking at them as thoughts, we can begin to dissect those feelings, look at their underlying parts, and change some of them. One of my most beloved mentors refers to this as rewriting the book of our lives. The clearest explanation I’ve heard so far, I find it one of the easiest to implement, too.

Thinking different thoughts provides a different way of looking at things. Repeating the newer, more sane understanding of a situation — rewriting the book if you will – interrupts the out-of control-pattern, and enables us to change it into something else.

Release the Need

When entirely unable to control a situation, there’s still one thing we can actually do. Releasing the need to control, or to even get involved, is in fact entirely within our control. Asking ourselves if we can — at the very least – release the need to have control can have a major impact on how we feel.

Questions to ask include, “Can I let go of my need to be in control?” and “Am I willing to allow myself to see that things won’t be like this forever?” Answering these in the affirmative can be life changing.

Build Curiosity

Surrendering and changing thinking aren’t just comforting, but can even turn situations into a game. Knowing that life is happening before our very eyes, we can build a sense of curiosity about what happens next, then sit back to watch events unfold. I realize, for many, this is a stretch. Still, reaching this level of acceptance may be something to strive for.

Feeling out of control? Do this now.

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As a coach, writer, recovered over-doer and busyness addict, I understand the challenges of creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle while the mind tries to sabotage your success. In my journey to vibrant health, I created a personalized health system of nutrition and supplementation, lifestyle changes, and I retrained my mind and the energy of my body. I view my success as the formula to my happy, healthy life. I now empower other women to create their own personalized formulas, including the tools and strategies just right for them! Amazing life shifts come from our relationships. I look forward to helping you, too!

Jul 14 2016

Ten ways busy women can recharge

Every. Single. Day. That’s how often I see drained, weary women, desperate for a little R&R. Short on time yet heavy on responsibilities, it’s common for today’s women to sacrifice self-care.

I’ve been there. Prioritizing everyone but myself, it took a painful condition to get me to finally wake up.

Maybe you’re that type of person, too. Let’s see…a high achiever, an endless do-er, a chronic giver — have I got that right? You know you should be taking better care of yourself, but you keep putting it off while you finish something else.

Let me ask you this: Do the words “Type A” resonate at all?

I thought so.

Quick quiz. Self-care is only for people with:

Lots of free time?
Lots of money?
Lots of health issues?

And, of course, the ability to manage the guilt. The guilt of doing something for themselves, instead of doing of everything else, that is.

It’s craziness I tell you.

Where in the world did we get the idea it was better to be busy than lead a good life?

The good news is you can stop the train. It shouldn’t take a major illness or some horrible event to get you to notice you’re important. Because you’re most important. Remember, the whole empire crumbles if you fall apart! Did you forget that?

There’s even better news, too. Contrary to what you’re thinking, it actually doesn’t take a lot of time to keep your mind and body in great shape. Honestly, just a few minutes, several times a day, makes ALL difference between having the life you want and burning out forever.

Odd thing though. A lot of us women have no idea how to recharge. For a long time, I didn’t either. It isn’t pouring another cup of coffee or inhaling a cinnamon danish. It isn’t organizing a drawer, either (though that can be immensely satisfying). And it certainly isn’t checking your iPhone.

Recharging — and effecting real change – is the kind of self-care that keeps you grooving all day, all week, and for the rest of your life. It’s the kind that actually hits the reset button for a little while, but helps you stay healthy and strong for a really long time. Real self-care is the key to preventing the serious crash and burn you may have only heard about. Trust me on this one. You don’t want to go there.

Now, I can already hear you saying it, so I’ll address your skepticism head-on. I know we all lead different lives, and there’s no single solution that’ll work for everyone. But, there are some tips that work for at least some of us, which you’ll find in this list. And if you know of one I’ve missed, by all means, post it as a COMMENT. The more ways women can find to recharge for a few minutes a day, the better off we’ll all be together.

10 Ways [Even the Busiest of] Women Can Recharge

1. Breathe

It’s amazing the power of good old fashioned breathing. Just a few minutes of actual breathing — done the right way – provides not just peace and calm, but oxygen to parts of your body you didn’t even know you had. Think you already know how to breathe? Check again. Not those shallow ones into your throat or into your shoulders. We’re talking slower, fuller, more nourishing breaths that go all the way down into your diaphragm, into your hips, and even down to your feet.

2. Head Outside

Ah, the healing power of nature. Just thinking about it makes my shoulders loosen. There’s nothing like sitting in the bright sun for a few minutes, soaking up warmth and vitamins like a cuddly blanket. Or, sitting quietly under the trees, contemplating the sounds and textures, or maybe contemplating nothing at all. Being outside is already a great start. For an extra boost, you can even get barefoot for some extra grounding and energy exchange. Doing that several times a day might become your new favorite habit.

3. Meditate

Seriously, people. Meditation doesn’t have to take forever. If you’re used to listening to long, guided meditations that last 30 minutes or an hour, or if you think meditation involves sitting in silence the entire afternoon, you’re wrong. There are much quicker ways to reconnect. Doing a 5-minute walking meditation around your living room can be incredibly calming. Even just slowing down what you’re already doing (washing dishes or filing documents) can have positive effects.

4. Take a Bath

When was the last time you took a bath? I don’t mean dipping your martyrish, self-sacrificing carcass for 2 minutes into the dirty bathwater you plucked your kids from. I mean, an honest-to-goodness nourishing bath, in a deep pool of water, with epsom salt, your favorite essential oil, and permission to lay there for a luxurious 15 minutes. Do it! Extra points for locking the door.

5. Journal

I happen to be more of a crisis kind of journaling person, so I only journal when I’m working through something really big. Yet, despite my personal habits, I recognize the incredible effects daily journaling can have for many people. The act of writing things down can unburden the mind, help clarify issues, force us to make connections, and often eliminate emotional charge altogether. These steps together are very healing, as our thoughts move from the mind to the pen, and out of our consciousness where they clamor for constant attention.

6. Unplug

As devices take over, and people crave more and more artificial connection, it’s becoming impossible to put our devices down. Women, in particular, spend far too much time on social media, trying to remain distracted from their thoughts or soothing a starving need for acceptance or support. But there can be such peace in shutting out the noise for a while, too. Bodies need time to rest in between periods of jumping up to grab the phone for every notification. Powering down on a regular basis is the only way to give the body that chance at renewal.

7. Do Some Energy Exercises

I, too, was a skeptic, but have grown in my understanding of the body’s energy system, and it’s importance in maintaining good health. Using energy exercises, one can actually impact the body’s energy system, improving mood, movement, health, and the general timbre of the rest of the day. What I love about this method is there are dozens of different exercises that take just a few minutes and make a huge impact. I encourage anyone interested in this topic to grab a book about energy medicine or to contact me for information on how to get started.

8. Set Triggers

This is a great one to learn for our own health and well-being, and is also a valuable trick to teach children, too. Triggers work to set a reminder to a particular place in the home or office, like a doorway or fixture we walk past throughout the day. Just seeing these triggers is an easy, automatic way to remember to do something important in that moment. I have used triggers my whole life, for simple things like remembering to turn off the coffee pot, taking out the trash, or making an important phone call; to more significant things like taking a few deep breaths, doing my daily exercises, or relaxing the tension in my face. Triggers can also be used to remind ourselves to calm down, to breathe, to take a break, or just to center ourselves for a moment before carrying on with our day.

9. Water/Vitamin/Health Food Break

I joked earlier about the cinnamon danish because it’s common for people to reach for carbs and sugars when they’re stressed. And while it’s true that a temporary fix feels great for a few minutes, it’s the long-term effects of doing that stuff we need to worry about. When extraordinarily busy, perhaps one of the best gifts we can give ourselves is pausing for a glass or two of filtered water, for a vitamin/mineral supplement of something we’re lacking, or for a plate of healthy food. That simple act of self-love sends the message of “I care” to your brain and “I know what you need” to your body. Interrupting a cycle of unhealthy eating with some conscious nourishment is a great way to add value to an otherwise very busy day.

10. Repeat Affirmations

Because bullying is so widespread, most of us understand the impact of experiencing terrible things over and over. But, on the flip side, few people actually realize the importance of filling their minds with positive messages instead. Silly as this may seem, it really works. Hanging notes on the bathroom mirror and repeating positive affirmations throughout the day can literally turn people’s lives and health around. If it takes only a few minutes a day, why not try it for yourself?

Bottom line is, it doesn’t take hours and hours each day to protect against the negative effects of living a crazy life. Just one or two of these tips, performed maybe 3 times a day, is a great prescription for protecting good health.

To yours,

Feb 05 2016

Saying YES to rest and play (and a challenge!)

If you’re like most women, you cram more than your share of projects and deadlines into every day. With a list a mile long, you live life focused on completion, meeting (ridiculously high) standards, covering all the bases, and making sure you never neglect anyone or anything along the way.

You’re focused, hard-working, and forever the person in charge. You step up to the plate. Every. Single. Time.

You have to, amiright? That stuff won’t get done by itself.

Listen, I understand. I was that woman, too. Forever the list-maker, the achiever, the over-doer, I was always the volunteer and person in charge. I loved it. On the surface, it actually felt really, really good. In fact I wouldn’t have experienced much of my early success without those early behaviors. Chances are, your focus on production and over-achievement probably serves you well, too.

But The Problem

While chronic busy-ness serves a useful purpose, it doesn’t come without a heavy price. We’re talking sleep, weight, relationships, happiness, and all of it.

You know what I’m talking about.

I meet women every day who do way too much.

Do you?

Perhaps you know you’re too busy and admit your suffering out loud. Or, maybe you don’t know it, but your busy-ness shows up in the form of sickness or pain. I meet high-achieving women going through all kinds of things in my my practice every week.

A Simple Solution

There is a solution, and it’s a lot simpler than you might think.

It’s down time— however you define that for yourself.

Down time refers to time for yourself, doing things that bring pleasure. This isn’t a luxury, by the way. It’s necessary for a healthy, stress-free life.

Regular time off isn’t a luxury. It’s necessary for a healthy, stress-free life.

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If you were to ask me 10 or 20 years ago when was the last time I sat around doing nothing, I’d have laughed at you out loud. Back then, I couldn’t even recall a time when I allowed myself time to just sit and be. I believed it was a huge weakness to goof off, so I never allowed myself the indulgence, for it would destroy my production for the whole day.

Boy, was I wrong.

Looking back at the wisdom of people who counseled, “Go for a walk, read a book, or take a nap”, I see now that I had a lot to learn about health and happiness. My lack of this kind of awareness didn’t allow me to see past the flurry of activity and endless stream of things on my schedule.

If I’d allowed myself regular time off, I wouldn’t have developed my illness, nor the painful symptoms that plagued me for many years.

Say YES to rest and play

Fast forward many years, much research, and many experiences and I see the things that stole big chunks of my life away. I am now called to counsel women and spread the important message about the value of self-care.

Often, I’m met with resistance — those familiar excuses I used for many years, too. Despite them, we work together on prioritizing, eliminating distractions, and discarding time-sucking activities. We rework schedules and find blocks of necessary time for the rest and peace they so richly deserve. Plus, I teach how to accept self-care without guilt, otherwise it isn’t self-care at all.

The 7-Day Challenge

Ready to try something better in your life?

Will you commit to making time for rest & play daily for a week?

I’d like to see you take an hour daily, for one week. But, if you can’t, 30 minutes will do.

You can keep a journal about how you feel if that’s your jazz. Or, just reflect on the experience before you go to bed at night to notice if you feel any different.

If, after a week, you don’t feel the challenge has been worth it, I understand…it just might not be your time to receive this message. But, if you’ve enjoyed it, keep going. You’ll grow in knowing the importance of down time for your mind, body and spirit.

To your evolution,

Oct 01 2015

Just breathe

Funny thing about breathing is that nobody thinks about it until it’s harder to do. Do you remember the last time you suffered a cold or flu, focused almost solely on trying to breathe for several days, and the ecstasy you felt when breathing finally returned?

I remember times of troubled breathing vividly. Difficulty with my breath has always made me extremely antsy. That’s why I can never relax when I’m stuffed up, and hardly sleep until my breathing finally returns. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection between breath and overall health much sooner.

I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection between breath and overall health much sooner.

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What’s normal breathing for you? Have you ever thought about how you actually breathe?

To be honest, I had really never thought about it. Except for obsessing over it while sick, I’d never studied the quality nor style of my breath at all. It wasn’t until I hit my late 40’s and my health gave way a little that I actually realized I wasn’t doing it right. It was then that I understood I probably hadn’t been breathing correctly all along.

Can you believe I didn’t know that my belly should actually rise when I breathe, not suck in as I was doing (cutting off my breath, but also my chi, energy, life force, and everything I was). I learned breathing into my head or into my throat was barely useful at all, and how I was probably contributing to episodes of dizziness and loss of balance I experienced every once in a while. I learned my whole body needed nourishing, not just my lungs, and not in that shallow way I was doing, that did little to satisfy my body’s craving for another generous dose of life-giving air.

Basically, in my 40’s, I finally learned how to breathe correctly.

And, geez, why doesn’t anyone teaching breathing while we’re young? Babies do it perfectly — have you watched an infant sleep? But, somewhere, proper breath is lost during childhood. I’m not sure when and how exactly, but shouldn’t this be taught? Or passed from generations, perhaps?

I can tell you for sure, breathing is certainly not something routinely taught in the western world. Which is why, after I learned, I made it a conscious part of the life curriculum I designed for my kids in our homeschool. I wanted to make sure they knew how to do it, too. I wanted to save them the nonsense I went through.

There are different kinds of breathing, different ways of breathing, and different habits we get in to with our breathing. Mostly unnoticed, the effects of this mindless activity can be very profound, indeed. I remember the “aha” moment I had sitting at my computer years ago, realizing the harder I focused, the less I seemed to be breathing for what seemed like long periods of time. Particularly when using email…for whatever reason, I found myself not breathing when I focused very hard. Thank goodness I caught and ended my own silly behavior. I have occasionally found myself scarcely breathing while driving my vehicle, too – almost as if in a trance!

So, when I learned about the art of breath, the way to take in air — not just to my head and throat – but all the way into my body, life began to change. I can now tell when I’m not breathing enough, not cleansing, not releasing, not relaxing, not nourishing myself in the ways that only breath can do. So, I correct it.

An eye-opener for me was the science behind proper breathing. Did you know that breathing alone may reduce stress, pain, inflammation, chronic health conditions, and more? Did you know folks who do not breathe correctly may suffer conditions like asthma, allergies, skin conditions and more? Breathing helps reduce anxiety, depression, stress and emotional states we sometimes aren’t even aware of. And people who breathe through their mouths may even have different face shapes and unevenly toned muscles in the face? Surprising, right? I didn’t know either.

Paying attention to my breath has helped me in ways I am maybe not even aware. I will say, however, I feel like a different person when I remember to breathe, and when I do it right. I am instantly more relaxed, more focused, and more clear thinking. I honestly feel my breath now has a positive impact on my overall health.

I feel like a different person when I remember to breathe, and I do it right.

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I’m sharing this with you in case you’d never thought about your breath, either. Treat yourself to a book, video or exercise to learn the kind of breathing that works for well for you, at different times of the day. Start by looking in book stores, or have another listen to your favorite meditation tapes, talk to a yoga teacher, or see a natural health practitioner for breathing advice.

To your good health,

Dec 01 2014

Traditional schools stress kids out

Another infographic crossed my desk this morning. This one caught my eye, as the title was: #1 Thing Kids Want When They’re Stressed”. It illustrates the results of a study in which children were surveyed by a company providing a therapeutic program for anxiety relief. Though the study facts and measures weren’t all that clear, I didn’t for a moment disagree with its findings:

Kids are most stressed by school.

I can’t say I’m surprised. But, I have to say, it really hurt to see that it in print.

I’m sad for those kids, and I’m angry about the whole situation, too. It’s heart-breaking, isn’t it? We’re talking about little kids here.

Think about this for a second: school stresses kids out. Doesn’t that make you sad and angry, too?

You know, when we choose to homeschool our kids, we avoid the stresses of traditional schooling. If grades are stressful, we find other ways to assess our kids. If the work load is too great, we can scale back or switch methods (with no loss of learning or progress). We’re not shielding our children from the real world, but instead helping our kids learn about stressors while they’re still in our care. And we’re giving them the tools to deal with stressors when they’re adults. It’s more gradual, gentle, and studies tell us — works better, too.

So, here’s my question to you today: Are you taking notice? If school is the #1 stressor of our nation’s kids, why aren’t more people standing up for change? Of the zillions of great parents out there — and believe me I know you’re an awesome parent – why aren’t more of you deciding you’ve had enough?

As a nation, we parents need to speak up. We need to look deeper. We need to demand change.

Clearly, given this statistic, not enough of us are noticing what conventional schooling is doing to our kids. Some of us are standing against Common Core, and that’s something. But why still support the system — if you already know it just isn’t working.

If you’re already a homeschooler, I am happy your children are not included in that statistic. But if you’ve got kids in traditional schools, won’t you please take a moment to check in with your children today? Make sure they’re okay — I mean, really okay. Ask them how they’re feeling about school. And please listen hard for what they’re trying to tell you.

Also today, spend some time looking into what is going on in your district, in your state. Volunteer in your local schools. Meet with your neighbors. And read, read, read what other parents have to say.

By the way, the same study also revealed the #1 thing kids ask for when they’re stressed…their parents.

They’re looking to you.

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